Big Bitter Brother

Alright, one last look at the story of the Prodigal Son (remember, to be found in Luke 15:11-32).

The older son. We haven’t talked about him yet. He gets sadly neglected all too often in my (Aimee’s) opinion. There are many people just like him out there in this world. Maybe your own of them.

 

We don’t even meet him, don’t even know he exists until almost at the very end of the story. Beginning in v.25, it says that the older brother came home from a hard day’s work and found a party rocking. One of the servants told him that his brother was back and the party was for him. Jesus says, “The older brother became angry and refused to go in” (v.28a, NIV).

 

Ever been there? Maybe you have a younger brother or sister who really screwed up somehow and you found yourself feeling really bitter and angry because you felt like they were getting off way too easy. Maybe you even sat back and watched as they were rewarded for learning from their mistake instead of receiving a punishment for it. Maybe you’ve watched friends or acquaintances or strangers or enemies who just got off so easy after messing up. Meanwhile, you’ve been working your butt off to make everyone happy and you barely get a little “thank you” here or there! Can you feel the resentment build as you just remember it?!

 

You may have been wondering over these last few days who I connect with most: the younger or the older son. I’m sure that those who know me best would not be surprised to hear that I relate to the older son. I know the feeling of bitterness when I’ve worked so hard to be “good” and I haven’t received any special recognition. Or maybe, somewhere in my swelled-up head, I’ve convinced myself that I haven’t received enough recognition. Or I’ve been looking for recognition from the wrong source.

 

Sadly, I’ve had many a case of pompous pride—belief in my own goodness, in my own superiority as a life-long believer, etc.—slow me down or even stop me from seeing the beauty of God’s love and grace and forgiveness. And for exactly that same reason, I can connect with the younger son because every time I allow pride to lead me, it means that I’ve turned away from God, believing that I know best.

 

The older brother in the story comes right out and tells his father how upset he is (v.29-30). He compares his own loyal, obedient service with his brother’s selfish and frivolous choices. He also compares his own lack of reward with his brother’s party that is happening even as he speaks.

 

Here comes the wonderful part: the father is just as lovingly patient with him as he was with the younger brother!

“My son,” the father said, “you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.” (v.31-32)

God doesn’t want us to be so focused on ourselves that we can’t see the joy in the (re)turning of others. He wants us to celebrate with Him! Being unable to do so only comes from sin controlling our thoughts and emotions. It’s a sinful attitude that focuses completely on self. It’s a sinful attitude that asks, “what about me?” It’s a sinful attitude that leads us to be obedient because we’re waiting for the rewards rather than being obedient out of love, and whether we’re rewarded or not (consider Matt 6:1-4).

 

The older brother allows his bitterness to rob him of the joy of the moment.

 

Do you do that?

 

I’ve done that.

 

The best thing to do in such a situation is to be open to God’s movement and God’s love. He will remind us that we should be led by love (God is love, 1 John 4:16). Remember your own imperfections, and be happy for the one who has learned from their mistake. Cause you haven’t learned yet, and when you do, you want to be welcomed back with open arms. Don’t you? It’s been my experience (personal experience) that the sin of pride is powerful and repeated often before we finally turn to God to ask for help in breaking it down.

 

When we can do that, we become the younger son—sitting, starving, in the filthy pig pen—realizing that we need to humble ourselves before our Father and turn to Him, seeking His grace.

 

He’ll be waiting.