Bitter

I (Aimee) was feeling really bitter the other day. 

 

I don’t even know what made me think of it, but I started brooding over how I was treated by someone a few years ago (yes, that’s right … talk about not moving on, right?!). 

 

I started complaining to myself in my head about her. How she just didn’t appreciate any of the sacrifices that I made for her. She was oblivious. She never thanked me nor did she ever take advantage of what my sacrifices offered her. She just continued on living her life just the way that she wanted with no regard to anyone else.

 

And then, as soon as these thoughts ran through my head (all in the matter of a second or two), the word sacrifice seemed to echo back to me. Then, suddenly, I was questioning myself:

 

How often do I show my appreciation for Christ’s sacrifice?

Do I live like I don’t even notice the difference it’s made?

I definitely don’t thank Him often enough.

I definitely don’t take full advantage of what His sacrifice has given me.

Sometimes, I do live my life just the way I want with no regard to Him.

 

“Oops” in this case would be a huge understatement. All I could do was stop complaining, let go of my bitterness, and beg for forgiveness. No, it doesn't mean that I'll never be bitter again or that I'll never have any similar issues. It means that I have a new perspective. And it's a perspective that I know I will have to work on remembering.

 

I’ve talked about forgiveness before (see June, 2011), and I don’t really want to get into that. What I want to say is that before we go around condemning those that have wronged us, we really need to spend more time thinking about the wrongs that we have committed. 

 

More than likely, our own mistakes would keep us so busy that we wouldn’t have time to fuss over the mistakes of others. And maybe it’s better that way. Then we can focus on how to better ourselves. After all, I am the only person that I can change. 

 

So, I choose to focus on trying to be a better me. That means not judging others, admitting that I don’t know everything, and leaning more fully on God… and remembering that I can’t do it on my own.

 

I want to share a song with you guys that has been breaking me down lately. Sidewalk Prophets (who will be performing at Ignition 2012!! Check out www.studentignition.com for more info) have a song on their latest album, Live Like That, which is called "Keep Making Me." They don't play it on the radio ... but they should! Listen to the words and let them be the prayer of your heart. I know that it is the prayer of mine.