coffee + OCD is my drink of choice

if you know me (sherann) at all, then you would know that i'm a coffee junkie. if we were at an event together, don't be surprised if i already have a cup of coffee in my hand or if we end up at starbucks together.  time and time again, my former students tell me about all the moments i took them to starbucks. see the picture on the left? yeah, that's my cup and i made it, too :) a lot of people know that i love coffee. people know this about me.

if you know me, then you would know that i'm good at hiding my thorn in my flesh.  meet OCD. to be honest, only a few people know about this.  it's not something i enjoy talking about and most of the time i'm embarrassed.  what are people going to say?  how will they view me?  granted, i've met a lot of people who have certain OCD tendencies, such as objects need to be in a certain order, the picture doesn't look straight, etc... i wish that were the case.  so to help me with this, every night i take a small white pill.  truth is... every time i wake up, i don't know if i'll have a 'good' day or a 'bad' day.  i've had a lot of moments where i cried, got angry at God, pleaded with God to take it away, and constantly asked, "why?"

if you know the apostle paul, then you would know that he was a man transformed by the grace of God.  a servant of Christ, proclaiming the gospel, specifically to the gentiles.  Paul also had a thorn in his flesh. (commentators say that it was some type of physical ailment) How did Paul feel about this?
"three different times i begged the Lord to take it away." 2 Corinthians 12.8 (NLT)

did you catch that?

he begged.
three different times.
take. it. away.

and from what we know, God didn't.

Paul wanted removal. God didn't do it.
Paul wanted to be normal. God didn't do it.
Paul wanted what was best for him. God always had Paul's best interest in mind. come on, He's God after all.

but, God gave Paul this instead...
"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Cor 12.9a, ESV)

there's something about perfection.  we hear it all the time, "be a perfect daughter/son, do everything with perfection." sure, we will find times when we accomplish something with perfection or you were able to be that "perfect daughter/son" for some time, but sooner or later you'll find out that you're not perfect.  you're human.

crazy thing about this verse?  God's perfection and power is found not in "perfect" people, (there isn't a perfect person in the world, hence the reason why Christ died for you and for me, he's the only perfect person) but people who are weak. More and more, I see that in my imperfection, I need someone who is strong and dependable.  Perhaps that's why Paul was able to live with this thorn. he decided to seek His face, the only face that will ever be perfect for him.

oh, yeah and one more thing. you know that whole 'power' thing? yeah, it's not weak-sauce. (if you think that, get it out of your head) we cannot understand the magnitude of 'His power' but to give you an idea...
His power raised Christ from the dead.

Crazy? yeah, it is. if you are like me and are struggling with OCD or  have some type of 'thorn,' take confidence in this...  we are more than conquers because of the same power that manifests through us. 

i know that my OCD is a daily struggle.  it will never go away.
BUT
i choose to embrace my weakness, so that His power is displayed in me.
"for when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Cor. 12.10b, ESV)

if you know me at all, then you would know that i'm a coffee junkie and i have OCD.

"Once i heard that, I was glad to let it happen.  I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift.  It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness."- Apostle Paul (2 Cor. 12.9b, MSG)