Fight!

I've (sherann) been debating on whether or not I should write about a spiritual struggle that I constantly face.  Then, I started to look back at all the reasons why Aimee and I started this blog in the first place.  It's called authenticity.  Rather than building more walls, it's about tearing down the walls.  It's about being raw with your walk as a follower of Christ.  No one walks the perfect "Christian" life and truth is... we are all sinners.  bottom line.  imperfect. sinful people. bottom line.
If you and I had a conversation today, and you were to ask if I love my position at the state level, my response to you would be... "I LOVE MY JOB!"  Simple as that.  I know that God has me here for a reason and I've seen God transform lives, I've seen students respond to the Gospel, I've seen students go out and share the Gospel, and I've seen God transform my walk with Him.  But, I've also seen and experienced the work of the enemy.  Experienced a lot of hardship and pain.  Many nights of crying and begging God to help me through the pain.  It's so true when you are in sync with Him, the enemy is even closer.
The last few months have been a whirlwind and it has been such a blessing to be a small part of God's grand story. A privilege is what I call it. And I don't say that lightly at all.  But, I started to notice a common thread "post-events".  It's called discouragement.  If anyone knows about my struggle with discouragement, it would be Aimee.  (Let me just tell you, she hears a lot of it!) No matter how well things went or how mightily God worked in a student, I constantly find myself analyzing and being in a state of numbness.  As if what I had done was not good enough or I couldn't have done it like Billy Graham.  (Okay, maybe not him... but you get the point)  And truthfully, when I get to this point... everything stops.  My moments with the Lord. My prayer time. My desire for Him.  Everything stops.  I didn't think much of it when I started to notice this awhile back, but this time it got worse.  I was not only discouraged, but I found myself questioning my purpose, calling, choices, etc.  I was terribly numb. And even though I caught this, I knew I had a choice. A choice to either do something about it or let the enemy continue to rob me of the joy and satisfaction that I have in Jesus. So, I decided to fight! I refused to get defeated or let the enemy use my discouragement for his glory. I fought to be in the Word, fought to change my bitterness into worship, and begged God to help me through this. And He did.

Here's the thing. I'm reminded of the Apostle Paul encouraging the Christian believers to press on, continue to run this race... why? Because Jesus is the only prize worth fighting for! He is WORTHY. He is worthy in our difficult seasons, He is worthy during the times of numbness, He is worthy during the times of joy and laughter! Do you get it? He is WORTH fighting for!
So, what about you? Do you fight during dark and trying times? Will you choose to fight for Him? Not because you have to...but because you want to?

"I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Phil 3.14

What's your story?

soli deo gloria