Monday, March 7, 2011

Fight!

I've (sherann) been debating on whether or not I should write about a spiritual struggle that I constantly face.  Then, I started to look back at all the reasons why Aimee and I started this blog in the first place.  It's called authenticity.  Rather than building more walls, it's about tearing down the walls.  It's about being raw with your walk as a follower of Christ.  No one walks the perfect "Christian" life and truth is... we are all sinners.  bottom line.  imperfect. sinful people. bottom line.
If you and I had a conversation today, and you were to ask if I love my position at the state level, my response to you would be... "I LOVE MY JOB!"  Simple as that.  I know that God has me here for a reason and I've seen God transform lives, I've seen students respond to the Gospel, I've seen students go out and share the Gospel, and I've seen God transform my walk with Him.  But, I've also seen and experienced the work of the enemy.  Experienced a lot of hardship and pain.  Many nights of crying and begging God to help me through the pain.  It's so true when you are in sync with Him, the enemy is even closer.
The last few months have been a whirlwind and it has been such a blessing to be a small part of God's grand story. A privilege is what I call it. And I don't say that lightly at all.  But, I started to notice a common thread "post-events".  It's called discouragement.  If anyone knows about my struggle with discouragement, it would be Aimee.  (Let me just tell you, she hears a lot of it!) No matter how well things went or how mightily God worked in a student, I constantly find myself analyzing and being in a state of numbness.  As if what I had done was not good enough or I couldn't have done it like Billy Graham.  (Okay, maybe not him... but you get the point)  And truthfully, when I get to this point... everything stops.  My moments with the Lord. My prayer time. My desire for Him.  Everything stops.  I didn't think much of it when I started to notice this awhile back, but this time it got worse.  I was not only discouraged, but I found myself questioning my purpose, calling, choices, etc.  I was terribly numb. And even though I caught this, I knew I had a choice. A choice to either do something about it or let the enemy continue to rob me of the joy and satisfaction that I have in Jesus. So, I decided to fight! I refused to get defeated or let the enemy use my discouragement for his glory. I fought to be in the Word, fought to change my bitterness into worship, and begged God to help me through this. And He did.

Here's the thing. I'm reminded of the Apostle Paul encouraging the Christian believers to press on, continue to run this race... why? Because Jesus is the only prize worth fighting for! He is WORTHY. He is worthy in our difficult seasons, He is worthy during the times of numbness, He is worthy during the times of joy and laughter! Do you get it? He is WORTH fighting for!
So, what about you? Do you fight during dark and trying times? Will you choose to fight for Him? Not because you have to...but because you want to?

"I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Phil 3.14

What's your story?

soli deo gloria

Friday, March 4, 2011

My Ministry

Lately I’ve (Aimee) found myself feeling very frustrated with my ministry.  I want to work in the church.  I went to school and received 2 degrees so that I can work in the church someday.  I love it when I have opportunities to actually do ministry in the church.

Then, last week, Sherann and I went to a conference.  Several of the speakers made a comment that I have heard many times before, but this time it touched me differently.  I still felt frustrated when we left the conference, but not so much with God anymore, but more so with myself.

We’re greatly mistaken when we think that ministry is only something that is done in and/or through a church.  We are all called to be ministers; representing God, sharing God, everywhere we are, no matter what we are doing. 

The job that I have that pays my bills is not the work that I do in the church.  It is, however, a ministry opportunity.  I have a chance to represent my Lord and Savior everyday with the children that I work with, with the school staff and teachers that I interact with, and with the occasional parent that I meet.  It may not be the ministry avenue that I would have, or did, choose for myself.  But, God has made it clear that this is where he intends for me to be for now.  I’ve been here for 5 years!

If I could simply work on my attitude, work on my point-of-view, keep my eyes on Jesus even when I am in a public school, then maybe I would feel so frustrated anymore about how I want to be doing more ministry.  Instead, maybe I can fully realize the ministry opportunities that are already right in front of my face.

I’m going to work on that.  I am going to pray for God to help me work on that.

What about you?  Are you looking at your everyday life as a ministry opportunity?  Or are you missing those chances to share Jesus with someone else?

What’s your story?


Thursday, March 3, 2011

ME.

this is me... sherann.
this is me... with my Bible.
this is me... with my ESV Bible.
this is me... in my office
this is me... with my glasses
this is me... just turned 29 a couple days ago
this is me... a sinner
this is me... needing grace
this is me... redeemed by the blood of Jesus
this is me... made alive in Christ
this is me... a new creation
this is me... alive
this is me... bought at a price
this is me... created by the Almighty
this is me... sherann.

Monday, February 28, 2011

Walking ... Finally


I (Aimee) did it.  I put my dogs' leashes on them and the three of us stepped outside and went for a walk around our neighborhood.  Taking a walk isn't anything new, of course.  What was new was that I made it a prayer walk.

Sadly, I don't know most of my neighbors names, only a few.  So, I walked along and my conversation with God went something like this:

Lord, I don’t know these people and I don’t know what they may be struggling with right now.  I don’t know if they know you or have a relationship with you.  But I know that you know them.  And I know that you love them…

I asked that He would reveal Himself in the lives of my neighbors.  I asked that He would give me opportunities to share Him with my neighbors.  I asked for His blessings on our neighborhood as a whole, and that people would recognize that those blessings were from Him.

I heard dogs barking as we approached.  I prayed for the dog owners in my neighborhood; that they would be good stewards of the lives that have been entrusted to them.  I prayer for my own dogs and other pets at home and asked for God’s wisdom in caring for them.

I saw a bumper sticker for a union.  I have no idea what union it is, but I prayed for that union, its leaders and its members.  I prayed that God would be with them and bless them and reveal His desires for their work.

Whatever I saw or heard, whatever I thought of as I walked, I allowed it to lead me into prayer.  And it was great!  It felt wonderful!  And it took my mind off of the time passing and before I knew it we had walked for half an hour.

It’s my plan to prayer walk at least once a week.  Sometimes I walk with friends.  But when I’m alone or with the dogs, I’m going to have my conversation with Jesus.

Have you prayer walked yet? 

What's your story?





For those of you who are interested, here is another excerpt from my story.  I hope you enjoy it and I encourage you to leave your comments.

When they were finished and Bernie was resting, Thomas decided that it was safe to move away and check out their surroundings.  He stepped out of the broken hull of what used to be their ship, being careful to stay within earshot in case Bernie should call for him.  He didn’t recognize their surroundings.  The sun was low on the horizon.  He could see its beams peeking out almost playfully between tree trunks, branches, and leaves.  He felt guilty for a moment for daring to think that anything could have enough joy to be playful at this moment or that he, himself, had dared to think the view beautiful.  He didn’t feel like anyone or anything had a right to enjoy life when his friends would never enjoy life again.  He shook the feeling off, reminding himself that Bernie needed him to stay calm and focused, and returned to surveying the area.
They were in the middle of a forest.  Broken trees, flattened bushes and other smashed plants of various types showed the path that the ship had taken on its way to its final resting place: embedded into the side of a giant tree.  The path was not long—perhaps fifty meters or so—but damage to both land and ship was significant.  The aerodynamic, four-meter nose of the ship was now compacted down to less than a quarter of its original length.  The front compartment had compacted some as well.  He could see the wrinkles and cracks in the hull that had been created on impact.  If Thomas hadn’t already known that he was lucky to make it through the crash with so few injuries, there would have been no denying it after seeing the crash site.  His guilt almost overwhelmed him again for a few moments.
Thomas was not a botanist, but he still felt that he should have been able to recognize more plant life than he did.  Some of the trees looked like ever greens of some sort, but not quite.  Most of them towered overhead with their canopies so high above him that he couldn’t really see their foliage.  The flowers to the right of the ship looked rather like orchids, but not quite.  Out of the corner of his eye Thomas thought he saw a squirrel run across the path and out of sight, but he didn’t know whether to trust what he thought he saw right now.  Everything was a little bit off and he wasn’t quite sure if it was everything else or actually himself that was off.  Maybe it was a little of both.
Thomas walked back to the ship and sat down next to Bernie.  She was awake, just lying still, obviously waiting for his return.
“Have you figured out where we are?”
“No.  If we made it back to Earth, then we could be in any number of forests throughout the world.”
“You think we made it back to Earth?!”  She winced.  In her excitement she forgot about her head for a moment and had jerked her head up and to the side in an effort to look Thomas in the face.  She lowered herself back down slowly, her eyes closed again. 
“I doubt it.  We were too far out.  Neptune was at least ten light years behind us…”  His voice trailed off a bit as he thought about it.  “Unless that’s what the anomaly did: shot us back to Earth, normally a couple of months journey, in a matter of moments?”  His voice was halting and questioning.  He seemed to wake up from his day dream and spoke quicker.  “If so, we should know soon enough.  If we’re on Earth, ground control will be able to locate us.”
“Yeah, but it's been hours since the crash and it shouldn't take this long for them to find us.”  Bernie did not dare move anything but her mouth as she spoke this time.
The same thought had already occurred to Thomas as well.  Someone should have found them already.  If they were on Earth.
“The way I see it, there are only two possibilities: either we’re on Earth and they’re simply having trouble getting to us, or we’re not on Earth.”
“Oh,” Bernie responded with a smirk, “is that all!  How astute.  ‘Either we’re on Earth or we’re not.’”  She mimicked the low register of his voice.  “Of course those are the only possibilities!  But in over a century of space travel we haven’t found another inhabitable planet similar to earth.  Science has all but ruled out the possibility of ever finding such a planet!”
He turned towards her this time as he spoke.  “Is it really good for you to be getting so excited right now?  Shouldn’t you be conserving your energy?”
This time she opened her eyes to respond.  The look she gave him was poisonous.  “Don’t treat me like a child.”
“I’m just asking.”  Thomas took a deep breath and sighed.
“Look.  We’re both tired and hungry and I think that it’s making us irritable.  I found a few rations when I was looking for the medical kit.  I suggest we eat a little bit, get some rest, and figure out our next step in the morning.”
Bernie’s expression softened.  She thought about his words for a few moments.  In her excitement she had raised herself up onto her elbow, now that she was calming down she was again conscious of her pain.  She slowly lowered herself back down onto her back.
“Agreed.  I am hungry.”  She added with a weak smile, “I never thought I’d be so happy to have field rations.”
Thomas smiled in return.
They ate in silence.  Exhaustion overcame hunger.  Neither of them ate very much before giving in to the stronger impulse to sleep.  The sun had set.  They had no light except for what faintly came from the stars, drifting through the breaks in the canopy.  A wonderfully warm breeze drifted in, making the urge to sleep even stronger.  Just before passing out Thomas thought to himself that he didn’t think that it was the right time of the month for a new moon, but perhaps he was remembering wrong.  He dismissed the thought and allowed sleep to overcome him.

… more to come in March.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Walking for Spiritual Health

Have you ever been on a prayer walk?

Do you know what prayer walking is?

Prayer walking is taking a walk through an area (your neighborhood, for example) with the specific purpose of praying for the people around you.  Even more specifically, you pray for their spiritual well-being.

I’ll admit that I (Aimee) have never done this.  I have sort-of, almost done something like it in the past, but it wasn’t in my neighborhood ... not quite the same thing.

Part of the reason for this is that I had never even heard of such a thing until a couple of years ago.  I grew up in the church, but my church didn’t teach me about these things.  Then, my second pathetic excuse is that my faith wasn’t strong enough.  My understanding of and belief in the power of prayer has grown dramatically in the last few years.  I have no excuse for not doing it recently.

I don’t know all of my neighbors’ names.  But God does.  I don’t know where all of my neighbors’ are spiritually.  But God does.  The great thing about prayer is that you don’t have to have all of the right words, you just have to have the right heart.

I want to encourage you to prayer walk your own neighborhood.  Or your work.  Or your school.  Pray for the people around you.  God knows who they are and He knows their needs. 

So, prayer walk your neighborhood.  Let us know how it goes.
I’ll prayer walk my neighborhood.  I’ll let you know how it goes.




Wednesday, February 9, 2011

More Than Enough

I (Aimee) attended a Bible study last week, and the subject of prayer came up.  A couple of the people there admitted that one of their biggest problems with prayer comes from the feeling that when there are things weighing on your mind and you need someone to talk to that God is not enough. 

Have you ever had that feeling?  You know, when you really feel the need to talk to someone and God speaks to your heart and says, “Well, why don’t you talk to me about it?”  And you, very politely, respond, “I’m sorry Lord.  I know You love me, but You’re not enough right now.  I need someone physically standing in front of me to talk to.” 

When they shared their struggles, I had to admit that I have felt that way in the past also. 

Ephesians 3:20-21 says:
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! (NIV)
Paul’s words are praising God because he knows that God is fully capable of fulfilling every need, and beyond that, He is capable of going above and beyond what we need.  What an awesome and powerful God we serve!

And we can’t forget Chris Tomlin’s great song, “Enough.”  In the chorus of that song he says:
All of you
is more than enough for
all of me,
for every thirst and
every need. 
You satisfy me
with your love
and all I have in you
is more than enough.

While the reality is that God is more than enough, the other side of that reality is that there are times when God does not feel like enough. 

I remember when I was in college (before my career change, before my time at CalBaptist), I went through a period where I felt God’s silence.  Every prayer that I offered, every conversation that I tried to have was answered with silence … and it was maddening!  Even at the time, I didn’t doubt God’s existence, and I even believed that His silence was His answer, but somehow that made it even worse.  Now, about 10 years later, I look back and I think that I understand why things happened the way that they did.  And, perhaps even more importantly, I learned something about what to do when that feeling that God is not enough comes on.

First, you recognize the truth that God is always enough and truly more than enough.  If you need to print out the Bible verse and keep it somewhere that you can see it or get to it easily to help you remember, then do it.  But you need to recognize its truth.  God is always enough.  Second, you recognize the truth that any feeling that God is not enough comes from a failing on my part, not God’s.  The truth is that God is perfect and we are imperfect.  It shouldn’t be too surprising to recognize that feelings that would lead us to think that God is less than perfect are actually our problem and not His.  Then, once you’ve acknowledged these things, you pray.  You ask God to help you work through it.

God knows that we are imperfect, and He still calls us and loves us and desires to have a relationship with us.  He’s willing to work with us.  We simply have to be willing to work with Him.  We have to acknowledge our failings and ask for help.  James 1:5 says:
If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.

Maybe it’s a little over simplistic to say, just realize the truth and then pray.  But, the fact remains that that is exactly what we need to do.  It may not always be easy to remember or even to do.  But it’s necessary.  So, we read the Word.  We encourage and remind one another.  And we grow.  And it gets easier.  Slowly … with the Lord’s help.His.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

.

 I (Sherann) fear comfort because I may no longer be in need of Him.  I may no longer be desperate for Him.  I may no longer be in need of a Savior.

just a thought.


soli deo gloria