Joy and Thanksgiving

My (Aimee's) brother told me about this book that he was reading.  He was really enjoying it and asked me if I had ever heard of it.  I hadn't, so the next time I was over for a visit I borrowed it.  It's a tiny book and only took me a couple of hours to read.

The author of the book has been working as an Army chaplain for longer than I've been alive.  The focus of his short book was on joy and thanksgiving, finding joy in the Lord and offering Him our thanks no matter our circumstances.  He said that he felt that God was leading him to this understanding.  Bringing Bible verses to mind.  Through circumstances in his own life as well as among the lives of the people that he served in the armies.

His point was that we need to praise God for whatever situation we find ourselves in.  Not praising God when we recognize that it could be worse (that's true, but not his point), but actually praising God for all of it, the good and the bad.  He gave the example of a man who came to see him because he was afraid that his wife was going to try to commit suicide because he was being deployed.  She had threatened it the last time that he was deployed.  The chaplain asked the man to come back with his wife.  He encouraged the man and his wife to pray, thanking God that he was being deployed and that she felt like killing herself.

In the book, he admitted that they looked at him like he was crazy at first.  And I have to admit that as I was reading I paused and wondered to myself whether he was crazy.  Why would someone thank God for feeling like committing suicide?!  I didn't understand.  But as I read more, I started to understand.

He pointed to verses like Romans 8:28,

          And we know that in all things God works for the good of those

          who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.

He talked about God being in charge.  Totally and completely in charge of everything.  Not in charge of most things or at most times.  But everything!  All the time! 

So what does all of this mean? 

Nothing is ever a surprise to God.  He knows the choices you are going to make.  The situations that you are going to find yourself in.  He has a plan for you and His plans will not be thwarted.  We can thank God for the stuff that is bad because we can have faith that He's going to use.  Like the woman who wanted to kill herself: it's true that the situation was not great, but if she hadn't gotten to that place, then she wouldn't have gone to see the chaplain, she wouldn't have opened herself up to God, and she wouldn't have found herself on the path of joy and growing faith that she wound up on.  And it all started with wanting to commit suicide.  I think, when you think about it that way, that you can see why you should thank God for something even like the feeling of wanting to commit suicide.

Are you confused?

When I finished the book I still had to think about it for a while.  And pray about it.  But I'm understanding it more and more as time goes.

What do you think?  What circumstances should you be thanking God for?  What's keeping you from connecting to your joy?

What's your story?

Sweet Spot

Recently, I (Aimee) attended a workshop that was all about understanding what specific mission God created me for.  The man leading the workshop asked the question: where is your “sweet spot”?

I want to ask you that same question.  Do you know where your “sweet spot” is?  Where you shine?  What God created you for?

I don’t mean in the big picture, what were we created for, in general.  I mean you, specifically.  What is it that God created you to do?  To be?

I know that Sherann’s passion is to share the Gospel with young people.  I know that my passion is to help young people who are struggling with their faith.  But we’ve also put a lot of time and thought and prayer into figuring these things out. 

What about you?  Have you put in the time, the thought, and the prayer to figuring out where God wants you to be?

If you're asking yourself why this matters, then let me ask you one more question that the man leading the workshop asked us: are you willing to let go of the good stuff in order to take a hold of the best stuff?

God has a plan for you.  He created you with that plan in mind.  He wants the best for you.  And the best for you is to do what you were created for.  So, where's your "sweet spot"?

What’s your story?

Honesty

I (Aimee) thought that I was becoming depressed.  I admitted it to a friend just last night.  I was diagnosed clinically depressed once before in my life and I remembered some of the similarities of the feelings that I experiences then and what I’ve been experiencing recently.  I just returned from a missions trip, somehow, depression seemed like a logical explanation for the swirl of emotions lately.  And, it’s possible, that I am really moving towards depression, but I have a new theory now.

Being jet-lagged when we returned, I picked up a new book to try to keep myself occupied during the daylight hours so I wouldn’t think about how much I wanted to go to sleep and then maybe I would make it until the evening.  The book I chose was fiction intentionally because I hoped to get swept up.  I wasn’t disappointed.  There was romance and action and drama and misunderstandings and miscommunications and separations and reunions and unexpected twists and turns and (very important in my list of criteria for a good story) a happy ending. 

I have the tendency to become very emotionally involved in a story, whether it’s a book or a movie.  I know it’s not a curse, but I don’t know if it’s really a talent.  Stories take me on an emotional roller coaster along with the characters as they deal with happiness and pain.  I’ve been like that for as long as I can remember (probably always have been).  But after a couple of days of reading, it occurred to me that I hadn’t cried with the characters (as I would have in the past), and yet, at the same time, somehow, strangely, I felt more like me than I had in a very long time.  That really confused me.  I didn’t know what to do with that.  I dismissed the thought to a little craziness brought on by my continued jet-lag.

When I finished the story was when I started to wonder if I was becoming depressed or just going crazy from exhaustion.  I felt exhausted, there was no denying that.  And everyone that looked at me saw it.  But I also felt like crying.  Not the usual silent tears that might escape during the sad part of a book or movie.  No.  I felt like sobbing.  I felt like I had been holding back emotions for years that now needed to get out.  Again, I tried to dismiss it to exhaustion from jet-lag.  But then, yesterday, I cried.  And I let myself cry.  I didn’t try to stop it.

I didn’t cry for very long at all; just a few minutes.  But I cried very hard.  And I spoke to God about it while I cried.  I didn’t understand (maybe I still don’t, this is just a theory) and I begged Him to help me understand.  After my tears subsided, I felt the logical side of me reminding my body that I had things to do that evening.  So I went back to focusing on what needed to be done.  I fully expected the tears to return when I was alone in my room at the end of the day.  And I was okay with that.  I was also still praying for clarification and I knew that might require more time and more tears.  Pain has often been a source of clarity for me in my life.  Putting things in perspective.  Bringing healing.  Allowing me to move on from the pain.  Some people avoid pain.  I never exactly welcomed it, but I didn’t shy away from it.  I simply accepted it when it came.

When I made it home last night and crawled into bed.  I talked with God, still expecting to feel the need to cry.  The next thing I knew I was waking up in the middle of the night.  I rolled over, thanking God for allowing me to sleep so soundly.  I praised Him for knowing what I needed the most.  And I went back to sleep.  This morning, I discovered my new theory: I had been hiding from deep emotions for so long, and allowing myself to get involved in the story had unlocked them.

When my father left when I was a teenager, I cried (when I finally did cry, shock kept the tears away for about a week) for hours.  I lost an entire day in tears and conversation with close friends that I could trust.  After that, I moved on.  I have cried other times for him, but always fewer tears and with less desperation, until they stopped after a couple of years.

When I broke my engagement about 7 years ago, I came home and cried for several hours, crying myself to sleep that night.  I spent the next couple of days in a haze half the time and talking with trusted friends.  Slowly moving forward.  Feeling less need to cry.  Getting the emotions out and facing them.  Slowly … moving … forward.

About 3 or 4 years ago, we had a family issue that had many of us stressing out as we watched, unable to do anything about it, as a family member made poor choice after poor choice.  I prayed.  What else could I do?!  One day, on the phone with my pastor, while asking for prayer, I broke down in hysterical sobs and cried very hard for several minutes while my poor pastor listened to broke statements of my thoughts and feelings about everything that was going on.  It helped.  For the moment.  However, the issue wasn’t resolved, so the pain didn’t really dissipate.  I started avoiding books, TV shows, and movies that would make me emotional.  I had too much drama going on in real life.  I didn’t need the fictional world adding on to it.  For the first time in my life, I intentionally avoided pain.  I stopped crying.  I assumed that, in time, the issue would be resolved, and that I would be able to go back to the way things had always been.  I continued to pray.  But the issue didn’t get much better, only a little, and I continued to avoid pain.

Yesterday, I allowed myself to weep for something besides joy for the first time in years.  There may be more tears to come.  I won’t try to keep them away if they do.  I suppose they must be back logged.  I haven’t dismissed the possibility of a small depression.  It still makes sense and may even be a part of this releasing of my emotions.  I don’t really know what all of this means, except that things are going to be different.  How or by how much?  I don’t know exactly.  But I’ve never been afraid of change.  And I know that I am in the arms of my loving heavenly Father and that He knows what’s best for me.  So, I place it in His hands.

Spiritually Dead

Recently, my (Aimee’s) grandmother has undergone a lot of changes.  She had cataract surgery on both eyes over the last couple months and then, most recently, she got new hearing aids (she had been without any hearing aids for several years).  Her cataracts had progressed so far that although she could see to get around, she couldn’t read anymore, she could barely make out what was on the television (some of the time), and she often didn’t see things in her path that she would bump into or even fall over.  Her hearing was so bad that we almost had to scream for her to hear us sometimes, and there were some people that she couldn’t hear at all, no matter how loud they tried to be.  She was miserable.  She didn’t want to go anywhere or do anything outside the house because she couldn’t see and she couldn’t hear.  The last 6 months or so have been very difficult as both her conditions and her mood got worse and worse.

These last couple of months have been almost the opposite.  Within a day or two after the first surgery on her eyes you couldn’t wipe the smile off her face if you tried.  She kept coming to wherever my mother and I were to announce something new that she was able to read.  She could read the newspaper.  She was able to read the newsticker across the bottom of the television screen.  She was beaming as she stood in the kitchen reading a portion of a newspaper article.  You’d think that she had just learned how to read and had never read anything before that moment.

Then she got the hearing aids.  Again, announcements were free-flowing in our house.  She could hear our dogs bark before, but now she could hear the little tingling sounds of their collars as they walked around.  She could hear how noisy the traffic on the street really was.  Apparently we weren’t exaggerating after all.  She informed me that our clock in the hallway is quite loud.  She also informed me that the television was too loud when I was watching it.  There’s still been plenty of smiles.  I’ve enjoyed walking up behind her now and then and whispering something in her ear, just to have her turn around and answer me, showing me that she heard what I said.

This all got me thinking.  I was reminded of the line:

          “I once was blind, but now I see.  Was lost, but now I’m found.”

How many people walk around Spiritually blind and deaf, not seeing or hearing the everyday blessings of God?  Not seeing or hearing the Good News?  Becoming more and more moody with each passing day?  Refusing to go places or do things because there is no joy for them?

It’s sad to think about.

Still sadder to think how much we can do to improve their conditions, but we don’t do it.

What do you think?

Do you know any people like that?

What have you done to share your joy with them?

Or have you?

Bored with God

My (Aimee’s) pastor made a really challenging statement on Sunday that has been stuck in my head and my heart ever since.  He said (I’m paraphrasing): if you’re bored with God then you don’t know Him very well.

I have to admit, there are times that I have been bored with God.  It’s connected to those times when you feel like God just isn’t enough.  But it’s also looking for other things to do instead of reading my Bible, or spending time in prayer, etc.  The thing that’s kind of funny is the fact that I really enjoy spending time with God and spending time in His word.  After all, I’ve devoted almost a decade of school and a horrendous amount of money to an education that was all about getting to know Him and His word better.  Yet, there are still those times…

Then I started thinking about people all over the world who are so hungry for God’s word that they plow through their Bible from cover to cover several times a year.  People who go to church every day.  People who spend hours and hours every day in prayer.  And, not to forget, people who are so devoted, so full of God’s awesomeness, that they face humiliation, torture, imprisonment, and death all for Him.  They definately aren't bored with God.  And that's because they recognize God for who He is: an awesome, loving, powerful, merciful, God who is actually so many things that we can't even fully grasp it all!  Our God is absolutely amazing!!

It all makes me feel rather unworthy, and slightly pathetic.  But it also motivates me to seek out more time with my Lord and His word.  I still struggle with God being enough for me.  I still struggle with Jesus being the love of my life.  I’m encouraged by the fact that this is my failing and not His.  And I’m even more encouraged by the knowledge that God can help me with this problem.  I just have to turn it over to Him.

Gambling

The only way to win big in gambling is to bet big.  If you are gambling, and you bet small and if you win you will get more back than you put in.  But not as much as if you had bet more to begin with. 

It’s a basic concept.  Not difficult to understand.  The bigger the bet, the bigger the win … if you win.  The problem with gambling, of course, is the fact that you don’t always win.  Plenty of the time—if not most of the time—when you gamble, you lose.  Hence, it's not recommended.

However, there are other ways of gambling that are good. 

Gambling big on God always pays off.  The bigger you bet, the bigger the return for the simple reason that it's not really a gamble; it's a sure thing.  It's a guarantee—just read your Bible if you don't believe me—that the more you give to God the more He will turn around and bless you.

There’s no guarantee anywhere in Scripture that God will give you everything that you want.  But we are told that God will provide for all our needs.  We only have to trust Him (a topic I’ve brought up several times before, I realize).

I’m gambling on God.  I was invited to join Sherann and her church on a mission trip in October.  I have no money to pay for my expenses.  I mean it.  No money.  My savings is run dry and I still have no income.  But, all the same, I said yes to the trip.  I’m trusting that God is going to provide because I believe that He wants me to go.  I’m gambling on God that it’s all going to work out.

Have you gambled on God before?  Lately?  Ever?

If not, why not?

If so, when?  Did it pay off?

What’s your story?

Anger Management

What do you do with anger?

Do you bottle it up?

Do you express it?  How?

Anger is a touchy subject.  Some Christians think that a "good" Christian never experiences anger.  But, not many.  After all, Jesus got angry.  We should feel anger at injustice, for example.  So then, the question really becomes, what should we do with our anger?

Recently, there was an incident in my (Aimee's) family.  I am feeling betrayed, hurt, and disrespected for both myself and my mother by someone within our own family.  I still love this person.  There really isn't anything that this person could ever do to make me or my mother stop loving them.  But, the fact remains, that I'm angry.

Exploding won't help.  When everything first happened, believe me, I wanted to spew words like a volcano all over that person.  I wanted to hurt that person like they had hurt me.  And spewing emotions like lava would burn.  But even in my anger I knew that exploding wouldn't help.  It might make me feel better for a minute or two, but that feeling would fade quickly only to be replaced by regret.  So, the question: what do I do with my anger?

I've been praying about it.  I've been asking God that question.  I've been asking God to show me what He wants me to do.  I am currently much calmer than I was.  I know that's Him working in me.  I'm not strong enough to hold it in all on my own.  But I still don't have the answer to my question.

What do you think?

What do you do with your anger?