Undeserved Love

Jeremiah 31:3b says:

           “I have loved you with an everlasting love;

                I have drawn you with loving-kindness.”

God said this to Jeremiah in reference to the people of Israel.

You know what’s so great about this line?  God said it while His people were in exile.  In exile because of their many, many sins.  An exile that they were warned time and again would happen if they didn’t stop sinning. 

God punished them.  Yes, it’s true.  But when He spoke to them, it wasn’t to say, “I told you so.”  It wasn’t to say, “I’m done with you now.”  It wasn’t to say, “I have nothing for you anymore.”

Instead, God spoke with love.  He turned to the very people that had rejected Him.  The very people that had thrown His love back in His face.  He turned to them and assured them of His love.  Everlasting love (in Hebrew, ‘always’ or ‘forever’ love).  He turned to them and assured them that He only wants—has only ever wanted—what’s best for them.  Loving kindness (in Hebrew, God’s never ending, selfless, merciful love).

No vengeful words.
No sarcasm.
Just love.

We reject God even today.
We look at His love and tell Him that it isn’t enough.
We look at Him and tell Him He isn’t enough.
And He reminds us, even today, that He loves us.

He still speaks to His people in exile.  And He says:

           “I have loved you with an everlasting love;

                I have drawn you with loving-kindness.”

Joy and Thanksgiving

My (Aimee's) brother told me about this book that he was reading.  He was really enjoying it and asked me if I had ever heard of it.  I hadn't, so the next time I was over for a visit I borrowed it.  It's a tiny book and only took me a couple of hours to read.

The author of the book has been working as an Army chaplain for longer than I've been alive.  The focus of his short book was on joy and thanksgiving, finding joy in the Lord and offering Him our thanks no matter our circumstances.  He said that he felt that God was leading him to this understanding.  Bringing Bible verses to mind.  Through circumstances in his own life as well as among the lives of the people that he served in the armies.

His point was that we need to praise God for whatever situation we find ourselves in.  Not praising God when we recognize that it could be worse (that's true, but not his point), but actually praising God for all of it, the good and the bad.  He gave the example of a man who came to see him because he was afraid that his wife was going to try to commit suicide because he was being deployed.  She had threatened it the last time that he was deployed.  The chaplain asked the man to come back with his wife.  He encouraged the man and his wife to pray, thanking God that he was being deployed and that she felt like killing herself.

In the book, he admitted that they looked at him like he was crazy at first.  And I have to admit that as I was reading I paused and wondered to myself whether he was crazy.  Why would someone thank God for feeling like committing suicide?!  I didn't understand.  But as I read more, I started to understand.

He pointed to verses like Romans 8:28,

          And we know that in all things God works for the good of those

          who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.

He talked about God being in charge.  Totally and completely in charge of everything.  Not in charge of most things or at most times.  But everything!  All the time! 

So what does all of this mean? 

Nothing is ever a surprise to God.  He knows the choices you are going to make.  The situations that you are going to find yourself in.  He has a plan for you and His plans will not be thwarted.  We can thank God for the stuff that is bad because we can have faith that He's going to use.  Like the woman who wanted to kill herself: it's true that the situation was not great, but if she hadn't gotten to that place, then she wouldn't have gone to see the chaplain, she wouldn't have opened herself up to God, and she wouldn't have found herself on the path of joy and growing faith that she wound up on.  And it all started with wanting to commit suicide.  I think, when you think about it that way, that you can see why you should thank God for something even like the feeling of wanting to commit suicide.

Are you confused?

When I finished the book I still had to think about it for a while.  And pray about it.  But I'm understanding it more and more as time goes.

What do you think?  What circumstances should you be thanking God for?  What's keeping you from connecting to your joy?

What's your story?

Sweet Spot

Recently, I (Aimee) attended a workshop that was all about understanding what specific mission God created me for.  The man leading the workshop asked the question: where is your “sweet spot”?

I want to ask you that same question.  Do you know where your “sweet spot” is?  Where you shine?  What God created you for?

I don’t mean in the big picture, what were we created for, in general.  I mean you, specifically.  What is it that God created you to do?  To be?

I know that Sherann’s passion is to share the Gospel with young people.  I know that my passion is to help young people who are struggling with their faith.  But we’ve also put a lot of time and thought and prayer into figuring these things out. 

What about you?  Have you put in the time, the thought, and the prayer to figuring out where God wants you to be?

If you're asking yourself why this matters, then let me ask you one more question that the man leading the workshop asked us: are you willing to let go of the good stuff in order to take a hold of the best stuff?

God has a plan for you.  He created you with that plan in mind.  He wants the best for you.  And the best for you is to do what you were created for.  So, where's your "sweet spot"?

What’s your story?

Honesty

I (Aimee) thought that I was becoming depressed.  I admitted it to a friend just last night.  I was diagnosed clinically depressed once before in my life and I remembered some of the similarities of the feelings that I experiences then and what I’ve been experiencing recently.  I just returned from a missions trip, somehow, depression seemed like a logical explanation for the swirl of emotions lately.  And, it’s possible, that I am really moving towards depression, but I have a new theory now.

Being jet-lagged when we returned, I picked up a new book to try to keep myself occupied during the daylight hours so I wouldn’t think about how much I wanted to go to sleep and then maybe I would make it until the evening.  The book I chose was fiction intentionally because I hoped to get swept up.  I wasn’t disappointed.  There was romance and action and drama and misunderstandings and miscommunications and separations and reunions and unexpected twists and turns and (very important in my list of criteria for a good story) a happy ending. 

I have the tendency to become very emotionally involved in a story, whether it’s a book or a movie.  I know it’s not a curse, but I don’t know if it’s really a talent.  Stories take me on an emotional roller coaster along with the characters as they deal with happiness and pain.  I’ve been like that for as long as I can remember (probably always have been).  But after a couple of days of reading, it occurred to me that I hadn’t cried with the characters (as I would have in the past), and yet, at the same time, somehow, strangely, I felt more like me than I had in a very long time.  That really confused me.  I didn’t know what to do with that.  I dismissed the thought to a little craziness brought on by my continued jet-lag.

When I finished the story was when I started to wonder if I was becoming depressed or just going crazy from exhaustion.  I felt exhausted, there was no denying that.  And everyone that looked at me saw it.  But I also felt like crying.  Not the usual silent tears that might escape during the sad part of a book or movie.  No.  I felt like sobbing.  I felt like I had been holding back emotions for years that now needed to get out.  Again, I tried to dismiss it to exhaustion from jet-lag.  But then, yesterday, I cried.  And I let myself cry.  I didn’t try to stop it.

I didn’t cry for very long at all; just a few minutes.  But I cried very hard.  And I spoke to God about it while I cried.  I didn’t understand (maybe I still don’t, this is just a theory) and I begged Him to help me understand.  After my tears subsided, I felt the logical side of me reminding my body that I had things to do that evening.  So I went back to focusing on what needed to be done.  I fully expected the tears to return when I was alone in my room at the end of the day.  And I was okay with that.  I was also still praying for clarification and I knew that might require more time and more tears.  Pain has often been a source of clarity for me in my life.  Putting things in perspective.  Bringing healing.  Allowing me to move on from the pain.  Some people avoid pain.  I never exactly welcomed it, but I didn’t shy away from it.  I simply accepted it when it came.

When I made it home last night and crawled into bed.  I talked with God, still expecting to feel the need to cry.  The next thing I knew I was waking up in the middle of the night.  I rolled over, thanking God for allowing me to sleep so soundly.  I praised Him for knowing what I needed the most.  And I went back to sleep.  This morning, I discovered my new theory: I had been hiding from deep emotions for so long, and allowing myself to get involved in the story had unlocked them.

When my father left when I was a teenager, I cried (when I finally did cry, shock kept the tears away for about a week) for hours.  I lost an entire day in tears and conversation with close friends that I could trust.  After that, I moved on.  I have cried other times for him, but always fewer tears and with less desperation, until they stopped after a couple of years.

When I broke my engagement about 7 years ago, I came home and cried for several hours, crying myself to sleep that night.  I spent the next couple of days in a haze half the time and talking with trusted friends.  Slowly moving forward.  Feeling less need to cry.  Getting the emotions out and facing them.  Slowly … moving … forward.

About 3 or 4 years ago, we had a family issue that had many of us stressing out as we watched, unable to do anything about it, as a family member made poor choice after poor choice.  I prayed.  What else could I do?!  One day, on the phone with my pastor, while asking for prayer, I broke down in hysterical sobs and cried very hard for several minutes while my poor pastor listened to broke statements of my thoughts and feelings about everything that was going on.  It helped.  For the moment.  However, the issue wasn’t resolved, so the pain didn’t really dissipate.  I started avoiding books, TV shows, and movies that would make me emotional.  I had too much drama going on in real life.  I didn’t need the fictional world adding on to it.  For the first time in my life, I intentionally avoided pain.  I stopped crying.  I assumed that, in time, the issue would be resolved, and that I would be able to go back to the way things had always been.  I continued to pray.  But the issue didn’t get much better, only a little, and I continued to avoid pain.

Yesterday, I allowed myself to weep for something besides joy for the first time in years.  There may be more tears to come.  I won’t try to keep them away if they do.  I suppose they must be back logged.  I haven’t dismissed the possibility of a small depression.  It still makes sense and may even be a part of this releasing of my emotions.  I don’t really know what all of this means, except that things are going to be different.  How or by how much?  I don’t know exactly.  But I’ve never been afraid of change.  And I know that I am in the arms of my loving heavenly Father and that He knows what’s best for me.  So, I place it in His hands.

Spiritually Dead

Recently, my (Aimee’s) grandmother has undergone a lot of changes.  She had cataract surgery on both eyes over the last couple months and then, most recently, she got new hearing aids (she had been without any hearing aids for several years).  Her cataracts had progressed so far that although she could see to get around, she couldn’t read anymore, she could barely make out what was on the television (some of the time), and she often didn’t see things in her path that she would bump into or even fall over.  Her hearing was so bad that we almost had to scream for her to hear us sometimes, and there were some people that she couldn’t hear at all, no matter how loud they tried to be.  She was miserable.  She didn’t want to go anywhere or do anything outside the house because she couldn’t see and she couldn’t hear.  The last 6 months or so have been very difficult as both her conditions and her mood got worse and worse.

These last couple of months have been almost the opposite.  Within a day or two after the first surgery on her eyes you couldn’t wipe the smile off her face if you tried.  She kept coming to wherever my mother and I were to announce something new that she was able to read.  She could read the newspaper.  She was able to read the newsticker across the bottom of the television screen.  She was beaming as she stood in the kitchen reading a portion of a newspaper article.  You’d think that she had just learned how to read and had never read anything before that moment.

Then she got the hearing aids.  Again, announcements were free-flowing in our house.  She could hear our dogs bark before, but now she could hear the little tingling sounds of their collars as they walked around.  She could hear how noisy the traffic on the street really was.  Apparently we weren’t exaggerating after all.  She informed me that our clock in the hallway is quite loud.  She also informed me that the television was too loud when I was watching it.  There’s still been plenty of smiles.  I’ve enjoyed walking up behind her now and then and whispering something in her ear, just to have her turn around and answer me, showing me that she heard what I said.

This all got me thinking.  I was reminded of the line:

          “I once was blind, but now I see.  Was lost, but now I’m found.”

How many people walk around Spiritually blind and deaf, not seeing or hearing the everyday blessings of God?  Not seeing or hearing the Good News?  Becoming more and more moody with each passing day?  Refusing to go places or do things because there is no joy for them?

It’s sad to think about.

Still sadder to think how much we can do to improve their conditions, but we don’t do it.

What do you think?

Do you know any people like that?

What have you done to share your joy with them?

Or have you?

Bored with God

My (Aimee’s) pastor made a really challenging statement on Sunday that has been stuck in my head and my heart ever since.  He said (I’m paraphrasing): if you’re bored with God then you don’t know Him very well.

I have to admit, there are times that I have been bored with God.  It’s connected to those times when you feel like God just isn’t enough.  But it’s also looking for other things to do instead of reading my Bible, or spending time in prayer, etc.  The thing that’s kind of funny is the fact that I really enjoy spending time with God and spending time in His word.  After all, I’ve devoted almost a decade of school and a horrendous amount of money to an education that was all about getting to know Him and His word better.  Yet, there are still those times…

Then I started thinking about people all over the world who are so hungry for God’s word that they plow through their Bible from cover to cover several times a year.  People who go to church every day.  People who spend hours and hours every day in prayer.  And, not to forget, people who are so devoted, so full of God’s awesomeness, that they face humiliation, torture, imprisonment, and death all for Him.  They definately aren't bored with God.  And that's because they recognize God for who He is: an awesome, loving, powerful, merciful, God who is actually so many things that we can't even fully grasp it all!  Our God is absolutely amazing!!

It all makes me feel rather unworthy, and slightly pathetic.  But it also motivates me to seek out more time with my Lord and His word.  I still struggle with God being enough for me.  I still struggle with Jesus being the love of my life.  I’m encouraged by the fact that this is my failing and not His.  And I’m even more encouraged by the knowledge that God can help me with this problem.  I just have to turn it over to Him.

Gambling

The only way to win big in gambling is to bet big.  If you are gambling, and you bet small and if you win you will get more back than you put in.  But not as much as if you had bet more to begin with. 

It’s a basic concept.  Not difficult to understand.  The bigger the bet, the bigger the win … if you win.  The problem with gambling, of course, is the fact that you don’t always win.  Plenty of the time—if not most of the time—when you gamble, you lose.  Hence, it's not recommended.

However, there are other ways of gambling that are good. 

Gambling big on God always pays off.  The bigger you bet, the bigger the return for the simple reason that it's not really a gamble; it's a sure thing.  It's a guarantee—just read your Bible if you don't believe me—that the more you give to God the more He will turn around and bless you.

There’s no guarantee anywhere in Scripture that God will give you everything that you want.  But we are told that God will provide for all our needs.  We only have to trust Him (a topic I’ve brought up several times before, I realize).

I’m gambling on God.  I was invited to join Sherann and her church on a mission trip in October.  I have no money to pay for my expenses.  I mean it.  No money.  My savings is run dry and I still have no income.  But, all the same, I said yes to the trip.  I’m trusting that God is going to provide because I believe that He wants me to go.  I’m gambling on God that it’s all going to work out.

Have you gambled on God before?  Lately?  Ever?

If not, why not?

If so, when?  Did it pay off?

What’s your story?

Anger Management

What do you do with anger?

Do you bottle it up?

Do you express it?  How?

Anger is a touchy subject.  Some Christians think that a "good" Christian never experiences anger.  But, not many.  After all, Jesus got angry.  We should feel anger at injustice, for example.  So then, the question really becomes, what should we do with our anger?

Recently, there was an incident in my (Aimee's) family.  I am feeling betrayed, hurt, and disrespected for both myself and my mother by someone within our own family.  I still love this person.  There really isn't anything that this person could ever do to make me or my mother stop loving them.  But, the fact remains, that I'm angry.

Exploding won't help.  When everything first happened, believe me, I wanted to spew words like a volcano all over that person.  I wanted to hurt that person like they had hurt me.  And spewing emotions like lava would burn.  But even in my anger I knew that exploding wouldn't help.  It might make me feel better for a minute or two, but that feeling would fade quickly only to be replaced by regret.  So, the question: what do I do with my anger?

I've been praying about it.  I've been asking God that question.  I've been asking God to show me what He wants me to do.  I am currently much calmer than I was.  I know that's Him working in me.  I'm not strong enough to hold it in all on my own.  But I still don't have the answer to my question.

What do you think?

What do you do with your anger?

The Love of My Life

My prince charming is here!

He's been here all along; I just only started to see Him in that way a year-or-so ago.  Don't you just hate it when that happens?  So much wasted time.  So many unnecessary heartbreaks.  

He's been in my life for as long as I can remember, loving me, caring for my best interest, protecting me.  He's absolutely perfect!  He loves me just as I am.  He always thinks of me before Himself.  He's not afraid to be honest with me, but always does so in a loving way.

He's everything that I could ever want, and more than I could ever imagine that I might want.  No one else can ever take His place in my heart.

He is the love of my life.

Someday, I may meet a man that I can fall in love with.  And I may get married.  And that will be a great love.  But, that man will have to recognize that he is not the love of my life.  In fact, if that man does not have the same Love in his life, then our relationship will never work out.  It's funny how it works that way, but it is how it works.

Jesus is the Love of my life.  He is perfect.  And He loves me more than life, itself.  He's already proven that.  And no one can, or should, ever take His place in my heart.

Drama-Rama!

Drama happens.  Let's be honest.  Sometimes we're the source.  Sometimes it's others around us.  Even if we try not to be drama queens (or kings) ourselves, drama still finds us at times.

How do you deal with drama?

How do you help others to deal with drama?

God's Love

My Godkids call it the pig book.  It’s one of several children’s books that I (Aimee) own and keep handy to read to them if they’re at my house at nap time or bed time.  And it’s easily my favorite of all that they have to choose from.

Sidney and Norman: A Tale of Two Pigs, is a beautiful story about God’s love told by the enormously talented Phil Vischer (creator of VeggieTales).  If you’ve never read it, I highly recommend it.  It’s not some silly kid’s book (although, as evidenced by my Godkids, children enjoy it very much).  It’s a great story for anyone of any age, but perhaps adults most simply because we get it faster than kids do.  The point of the story is not lost on us.  And the point is love.

I don’t want to give it all away.  So let me just say that Sidney and Norman are two very different pigs, but God loves both of them anyway.  When they receive that news, it affects each of them in a very different and specific way.  When you read the story, you’ll most likely find yourself identifying with Sidney or Norman, and so, the change that takes place in them touches your heart as well.  (Personally, I’m a Norman.  When you read the book, you’ll understand.)

God loves you just as you are.

You can’t earn His love.

He doesn’t love you more or less than He loves anyone else. 

God doesn’t play favorites.

You don’t deserve His love.

And so, you can never cause Him to stop loving you.

God loves you just as you are.

What difference does that knowledge make in your life?

What’s your story?

Slavery

In the 6^th chapter of Romans, Paul talks about the idea that we used to be slaves to sin, but now we are slaves to God.  Romans 6:16 says:

Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone to obey him as slaves, you are slaves to the one whom you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness?

Slavery means total and complete submission.  It means always seeking the will of your master over your own.  It means that you don’t get to choose for yourself.  Your master chooses for you.

Once, we were slaves to sin.  Sin controlled our lives.  It made the decisions for us.  It sought its own best interest rather than ours.  And we let it.  We submitted.  We had no choice.  We weren’t strong enough to fight it.  Sin had the upper hand because it was inside of us.  All of us.  All the time.

And then God sent his Son to destroy the power of sin in our lives.  We no longer have to be a slave to sin, which does not care for our well-being.  The power of sin has been broken.  And, in loving gratefulness for everything that He has done for us (done out of His own love for us), we turn in obedience to God.  When we accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior and we ask Him into our hearts, we willingly become His slaves:

But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life.  For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 6:22-23)

I’ve (Aimee) found myself thinking a lot about Romans 6 lately.  Most of you know that I had been very concerned with getting a new job.  I have bills to pay and my job working with children ended for the summer.  I knew that God would provide for my needs, but that doesn’t mean that I wasn’t worried.  I’m human.  I still worry.

Well, I haven’t written a blog in so long because I got a temp job and it was eating up all of my time.  I got the job quite suddenly and started just a couple of days after the interview.  It wasn’t what I expected, in good and bad ways.  It was a very interesting job, but the hours weren’t very great.  Some days were so long that I found myself getting home, eating dinner, and going to bed, just to get up and go straight back to work.  Not ideal, to put it simply.  I had almost no time for my own time with God (although, of course, He is with us everywhere and always, so I could talk to Him anytime that I wanted, but I didn’t have time for special quiet time with Him), or for my responsibilities at church.

I found that I was allowing myself to be a slave to my paycheck.  I was putting up with it all for the sake of the paycheck.  And do you know what that says about me?  It says that I have a price.  And it says that I value money over my relationship with the Creator of Heaven and Earth.  I didn’t like that.  So I quit.

Don’t hear what I’m not saying!  Working long hours does not always mean that you are a slave to your paycheck.  It all depends on the person and the job.

What I am saying is that, for me, this wasn’t working.  Also, what I am saying is that we need to give consideration to the work that we do, knowing that all Christians are called to have a relationship with God and all Christians are called to ministry (not all are called to go into ministry as a profession, but all are called to minister to others).  If the work that you are doing is not allowing for one or both of those things, then you need to re-evaluate how you go about work.  Whether that just means changing your approach, or if it means changing your work, only you and God can tell.  So give your work to Him.  Put it in His hands.  And seek the will of your Master.  He loves you and wants what’s best for you.

Father's Day

What did you do to honor your father this weekend?

How did you show him how much you love and appreciate him?
Do you have a bar-b-que?
Did you buy him a new tie or some gadget that he's been wanting?



What about your heavenly Father?

Not all of us have an earthly father that inspires love and admiration.
But we all have a heavenly Father that loves us dearly ...
A heavenly Father who knows us better than we know ourselves and loves us anyway...
A heavenly Father who will never abandon us no matter what happens or how we behave ...
A heavenly Father who has watched every mistake we've ever made with sadness and pain ...
A heavenly Father that still loves us so much, and desires our betterment to such a degree, that He became a human and died for us.

What have you done to show Him your love and appreciation?
What will you do?

Forgiveness

  I (Aimee) don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned my father before.  When I was in high school, my father was arrested and went to prison for several years.  I haven’t actually seen him since then.  It’s been about 15 years.

I have many happy memories with my father.  But around the time that I was in junior high school my father changed.  He became verbally abusive.  He isolated himself from us more and more.  I avoided him more and more, because anytime I was around him he just yelled at me and put me down anyway.  But I never hated him.  I hated the person that he had become.  That person was not the father that I had loved.  So, when I came home from school one day to hear my grandmother say that he was gone, I didn’t cry.  For several weeks, in fact, I didn’t cry.  Then, one morning at school, I broke down in hysteric sobs and they didn’t stop for several hours.

Initially, I was so busy with the life of an upcoming graduate (trying to finish well, figuring out where to go to college, getting all the paperwork correct for financial aid, school activities, church activities, etc. etc.) that I didn’t take much time to think about it at first.  My father was gone.  There was good and bad to that.  I mourned, but then I pushed it aside.  Kind of like Scarlett O’Hara, I said to myself, “If I think about it now I’ll just go crazy.  I’ll think about it tomorrow.”

I’ve worked a lot on what to do with all of this since then.  I still don’t have all of the answers.  For the longest time, I struggled with forgiveness.  Not my willingness to give it, but did I need to give it.  You see, my father’s civil crimes were not against me.  So, for many years, I didn’t think that it was my forgiveness that was needed.  It was a long time before I could admit to myself how much his neglect and his insults and his choosing this other life over a life with me had really affected me.  That's when, I realized that I needed to forgive him.  And that was when I was able to start forgiving him.

I definitely don’t know everything about forgiveness.  But I’ve picked up a few things from my own experiences, from talking with others, from books, and from classes:

1.   Forgiveness is a process.  Faster or slower depending on the circumstances.

2.   Forgiveness does not have to be requested to be given.

3.   Forgiveness can be more of a gift to you than to the person you are forgiving.

4.   When someone has wronged you, they have the right to ask for forgiveness.  You have the right to say that you will work on it.

5.   (This goes along with #4) God expects you to forgive others.  Always.  Every time.  As many times as it takes.

6.   Forgiving does not mean (nor should it mean) forgetting.  But not forgetting does not give you permission to throw someone’s mistakes in their face.

And perhaps most importantly…

7.   No one deserves forgiveness.  Not even you.  But God forgave you anyway.

I’m still working on it.  And I may be working on it for the rest of my life.  I hope not.  But I don’t know God’s plans.  I need His wisdom and His mercy, but I’m so flawed I can only take it in doses.  He’s working on me (thank God!) and I have to be open to Him.  I can't do it without Him.

Presence of God

This weekend my (Aimee’s) mother and grandmother left to go visit my brother and his family.  So, I was all alone here at the house with the dogs from late Thursday evening until Sunday evening.

Normally, I hate being home alone that long.  It’s fine for a day.  I can find plenty to do, or there are friends to pass the time with.  It’s the nights that are hard.  So, usually if they are going to be gone (which isn’t often), I call some friend to come and stay with me so that I don’t have to be alone.

The problem is that Sherann lives 4 hours away and my closest friends that live locally were all either out of town also or occupied with business.  There was no one to come and stay with me.  As I realized this Thursday night—walking around in my backyard with my hands free device calling people as I watered the vegetable garden—I remembered what I had said to my mother when she was getting ready to leave.  I had told her that I was looking forward to having alone time with God, praying and reading my Bible.  I had completely forgotten and I had been trying desperately to figure out who could come and stay with me so I wouldn’t be alone.  But God hadn’t forgotten.

I’m not going to say that I spent the whole weekend praying and reading my Bible.  That’s not what happened, although I did do those things.  But what was so great was the fact that I never felt alone.  I wasn’t lonely.  For the first time, probably ever, being home “alone,” I knew I wasn’t alone.  God was with me.

His presence brought me joy and peace.  He helped me to see the many blessings in my life right here in my own home.  He reminded me that I am never alone and that I am loved.

I still can’t quite put the feeling into words … and that’s saying something, cause I like words and I’m generally good with them (Another gift from God.  Thank you, Lord.).  All I know is that I wasn’t alone this weekend.  God was more than enough to meet all of my needs this weekend.  It was an experience that I had been praying for.  And it’s one that has planted a renewed desire to draw closer to Him as I strive to be able to recognize every day that He is always more than enough to meet my needs.

Flesh vs. Spirit

I (sherann) hear this a lot... "don't ask God for patience because He will give it to you."  For the past couple of weeks, I've been having issues with FedEx.  They didn't correct the address, the driver dropped it off at the wrong location, they didn't retrieve the package on the day they said they would, and finally... the package was on the wrong truck.  Let me tell you... I was upset!  Nothing seemed to go as planned, I really wanted this shipment, and in the middle of all this chaos... I was in a battle with my flesh.  My flesh wanted to be rude to the customer service representative.  My flesh wanted to say some not so nice things.  My flesh screamed "they don't deserve kindness!" My flesh wanted nothing more than to point the finger at them!  "It's YOUR fault!"
I deserve and have the right to feel this way, right?  I have the right to give them what they deserve, right?  And even though they were at the wrong, my spirit was screaming, be merciful.  My spirit was telling me to love your neighbor as you love yourself.  My spirit was telling me to be patient.  My spirit was telling me to be salt and light.  My spirit was telling me to BE Jesus.  I was definitely frustrated, but one thing I do know... even though I deserve death, He gave me grace.  "For it is by grace you have been saved..." Ephesians 1:8

What about you?  How would you react?

soli deo gloria

awkward

I (sherann) went to so. cal this past week for my niece's 100th day celebration.  It was nice and it's always a joy to see my niece. :)
On our way home, we stopped at Panda Express for lunch.  After getting our food, I went to the bathroom to wash my hands.  (Don't worry... it's rated G :) ) Now, this particular bathroom doesn't have paper towels but one of those air blowers.  So, here I am trying to dry my hands and i heard a flush in one of the stalls.  "Hmm... I thought I was the only one here... guess not."  As I was about to walk out the door, the stall opens up and I'm looking straight into the eyes of a man.  Yes, a man.  First thought... oh my gosh.. I'm in the wrong bathroom!  Second thought... wait.. can't be...  Third thought... walk quickly... keep going...  just go!  Awkward? yes.   Poor guy... I just gave this puzzled look and left.  What would you have done?  And has this ever happened to you?  What's more embarrassing... to be the guy or to be in my shoes?

let's talk.


soli deo gloria

Struggles

My (Aimee’s) future is very uncertain.  School is about to end and I still have no idea what I am going to be doing this summer.  I don’t have a lot of bills, but you don’t have to have a lot for it to be too much when you have no money coming in.

I know I’ve talked about it before, but this is definitely the area in my life that I struggle the most with trusting God.  The Bible tells us that our Father in heaven knows our needs and that He provides.  And the thing is, I’ve seen Him do it!  I’ve seen Him do it in my own life more than once.  Yet, it’s still difficult for me.

So, I move forward with prayer.  I ask God to give me patience as I await His will.  I ask for clarity in determining His will.  I read my Bible.  I look for words of encouragement (and there are so many!!).  I remind myself of God’s love and provision in the past.  I seek to understand Him better.  It all helps, but it’s still hard sometimes.

Where does your trust waver?

What do you struggle with?

How has God helped you in the past?

What’s your story?

undeserved kindness

“Stop being nice to them!” I’ve (Sherann) heard this a lot from my brother… well, even from friends.  Is it wrong to be ‘Christ-like’ in every area of your life?  ... even during those calls when the receptionist sounds so annoyed with you when all you want to do is make a correction on your monthly statement?  Or what about that rude server who doesn’t even acknowledge your existence while you wait patiently for your food?  Are you supposed to show kindness to others when they clearly don’t deserve it?  And why is it that when you start being firm and forward that you get what you need in a fraction of the time you try to be nice and subtle? 

Does your act of kindness make you look weak?

My flesh tells me to be rude because they were rude.  My flesh tells me that I don’t have to be kind because they made a mistake with my order.  However, my spirit tells me that Jesus loves them.  My spirit tells me that I should love my neighbor as I love myself.  My spirit tells me that I want to be Christ-like no matter how rude they are to me. 

But the question is… does your act of kindness make you look weak?   

What are your thoughts?  Should we as believers show kindness no matter what they do or say?  Or should they get exactly what they deserve?

soli deo gloria.

Sharing the Gospel

I (Aimee) just watched the newest post from the folks at Walk the Way (on Facebook, or at www.walktheway.net).  Jeff Klein offers the challenge of whether we’re living for what is socially comfortable rather than living for what God wants for our lives.  It’s an excellent question, but it got me thinking about something else.  It’s related, but different.

Jeff was telling the story of a man who moved out of the suburbs into the city because he felt God calling him to the city and to the people there.  Apparently, this man was criticized by his friends for being more concerned with the social gospel—meeting physical needs like food, water, and medicine—than with sharing the gospel for the purpose of winning souls.

It reminded me of a very short discussion that came up at our church recently (‘discussion’ probably isn’t the right word, but I’ll use it for lack of anything better right now).  A report was being made about where recent outreach money had been sent.  Then someone asked the question (and I'm paraphrasing): “when are we going to send money to someone who’s actually sharing the gospel?”  Almost all of our money recently has gone to help the victims in Japan and tornado victims in the eastern states, mostly through World Vision (http://www.worldvision.org/).  I understood why the question was asked, but I was still amazed.  

Do you understand why I was amazed?  Do you understand why the man in Jeff’s story was probably equally amazed by his friends’ statements?

Look at the life of Jesus.  The gospels record many lessons, many times when Jesus sat with His disciples and other followers and told them stories, reviewed the scriptures, and just generally taught them with words.  But He also spent a lot of time healing, dealing with people’s physical needs.  Through the power of the Holy Spirit, Jesus caused the lame to walk and the blind to see.  He healed those who were possessed by demons.  He healed those who were suffering from skin diseases that left them ostracized from the rest of society.  Jesus cared very deeply for people’s physical well being.

I heard it said once that people won’t care about what you have to say until they believe that you care.  I’ve also heard it said that a person can more easily hear the Gospel if their stomach is not louder than your voice.  Some people are so physically broken that they can’t begin to heal on the inside until they begin to heal on the outside.

James tells us:

Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food.  If one of you says to him, “Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? (2:15-16)

And in Deuteronomy it says:

For the Lord your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God, mighty and awesome, who shows no partiality and accepts no bribes.  He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the alien, giving him food and clothing. (10:17-18)

God is all about meeting our needs.  It’s all over the Bible.  And while this world is not to be our home, God knows our needs in this world and He meets them.  And we’re called, as followers of Christ, to meet the needs of those suffering around us to the best of our abilities… in whatever form that takes.

Allow me to share one more quote with you.  Saint Francis of Assisi is credited with having said: “Share the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words.”